This is one of my favorite Christmas stories of all time, first published here two years ago. We’re now all a bit older, but I continue to have active fantasies of the shirts I noted at the end of the post. Godspeed with the Christmas crafts, my friends…
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Gosh, yes…I actually tried to craft with my kids. I am so annoyingly stupid…
Once upon a time in the not-so far off land of Suburbia, there was a Mommy who was a very good at caring for her home and her family, except for the fact that she sucked at cleaning and cooking, wasn’t awesome with young kids, and was generally terrified of crafting. This Mommy was married to a very good man; we’ll call him Daddy. Daddy was reading a book to their little boy and chanced upon cute idea for a fun project to do with kids. Daddy mentioned this to Mommy, and apparently Mommy had skimped on her daily sanity meds, because she thought this craft would be fun to try with the kids. She planned to give it a whirl one morning the next week.
In general, anytime Mommy decides to “give something a whirl”, it’s best for all nearby parties to run quickly into a cave and hide. And so this is the point where our tale takes a very nasty turn south…
Preparations for the crafting event were going relatively well until Mommy realized she needed supplies to create the popsicle stick Christmas tree craft. Dastardly truth of crafting: supplies are necessary. Queue to Mommy diving headfirst into several scary large Rubbermaid totes in the basement where the glitter was conveniently stored. Listen carefully now for the sounds of angry grunts, muffled explicatives and panicked screams for baby daughter to NOT start crawling up the un-baby-gated cement steps.
After some further desperate searching and a minor hiccup when Mommy’s sweet angelic son locked her in the basement as she was juggling the glitter, the baby, a psychotic dog and a laundry basket under arm (there is always, always a laundry basket involved, right?), the necessary materials were finally secured upstairs. Mommy then felt insanely wise for setting daughter up in her chair with some Color Wonder markers so the rest of this fun event could ensue. The scene was mostly set with only the paper plates still needed.
For the record, paper plates are definitively integral to all craft projects. All of them. If you are looking to go into crafting, start buying paper plates in bulk, and stash them in every nook and cranny throughout your house. You will always need them and you will never have them when you need them. There can never be enough paper plates.
While Mommy went in search of the necessary paper plates, her daughter took the opportunity to eat the tip off of a marker. After a certain amount of hysteria and speculation that Color Wonder ingestion would lead to brain damage of some sort, it was determined that everyone would survive, and the festivities could joyfully continue.
As goldfish crackers flew at Mommy’s head (an alternative activity was needed for daughter after the unfortunate incident in which she ate the provided markers), she learned that hot glue gun glue is indeed rather hot when squirted all over her hand. As Mommy screamed through the pain, her son fled the room in terror. But with a little convincing, he soon returned to participate in this delightful experience.
Bring our engaging tale to a close, you can tell from the pictures below, the end result was stunning. Clearly entirely worth all the effort and served to completely re-educate Mommy, who will now be running gleefully headfirst into the next crafting opportunity after having such a blessedly positive experience. Bring on the crafts.
Just thought you would appreciate
that I’m still using paper plates from
my daughter’s birthday in July
Mommy is now making “I Heart Crafting” t-shirts which will be available for sale in the very near future. Stay tuned for this one. She’s entirely sold out for crafting and wants the world to know.
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Also, pop on over to Hollow Tree Ventures and check out As (Never) Seen on Pinterest for further evidence of how crafty and artsy I am and snag some top-notch creative ideas from some of my favorite bloggers. As a teaser, my fantastic design inspiration for your child’s train table is pictured below:
Yes, yes we are awesome parents…
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