My daughter had a banner week last week.
Upon smelling the rank fishy odor at the grocery store and pondering the stinky source, she pointed at a innocent nearby middle-age woman and loudly concluded “EW! IT’S HER BUTT”. Super.
A kind friend gifted her an Elsa doll for Christmas. She opened it and squeed, “Yay! Now I can be like all the other kids!”. Score one for my continued claim on the Mom of the Year title.
The dog was in the middle of vomiting and my daughter decided he “needed more love” so grabbed him to give a tight stomach squeeze as he was mid-puke. She really is such a sweet child.
She then knocked over the Christmas tree.
Let me restate for effect: SHE KNOCKED OVER THE CHRISTMAS TREE. Like, the broken ornaments, shattered glass, her father was at work, “Go to your room NOW before I completely lose my crap on you!” kind of knocking over the tree.
I really liked my tree. Like, really liked it.
I inherited my delight in Christmas trees: my BFF and I used to joke growing up about my mother’s passion for our family tree. In the event of a home invasion of some sort, we imagined her crying, “Take my children, but save the Christmas tree!”
While I’m not sure I’m this far gone, I definitely have a thing for my tree.
In fact, I had planned to write a post today about how much I love and cherish all the ornaments on my tree. All of them carefully selected or made with love, most of them from my mother. As many of these meaningful ornaments now sit in a need-massive-amounts-of-super-glue pile, obviously, my post plans have changed.
And that’s probably for the best.
I’ve found that the older I get and the more my natural inner-planner psychosis takes root, I really need to get over myself. I can lay plans and map out my days, especially the holi-days, with an astounding fervor, but then two funny little things happened that make actually sticking to these plans a bit tricky:
Kids and life.
You see, no matter how much I plot and plan I can’t control either. While I can hope and pray my daughter plays nicely without wreaking destruction (and now is explicitly forbidden from being in the vicinity of the tree ever again), she is most wholly human–and a child. And as much I’d prefer not to spend my afternoon sucking up tree water with the shop vac, I wouldn’t have her any other way.
While my mother was supposed to be here to delight in the ornaments with me and memories from her were not supposed to be lying in shattered shards while I acutely miss her this season, I’m going to choose to trust that God knows what He’s doing. I know I sure don’t.
So what can I do when plans so utterly fail? One thing. Only, ever one thing: GIVE UP.
Completely. Totally. Give up. Things will probably work out. Or they will totally fall apart. Either way, I’m going to do my best to enjoy the parts I can and realize I have little to no control over any of it.
And I’m going to sit here and nosh on the yummy chocolate chips my sweet, sweet friend dropped off when she came over to help me heft the tree back to an upright-ish position.
I’m staring at the tree that looks like a small child on a rampage attacked it–because one did.
It’s a mess. That’s okay. There will probably be other years and other trees. And I’m guessing there were actually very few perfectly decorating Christmas trees present at the birth of Jesus. Yet somehow the angels found a reason to celebrate the holiday anyway.
For another fun perspective on coping with holiday stress, check out this conversation and video on VProud.tv. It will make you smile–I promise!
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Frugalistablog says
What a perfect reminder among all the hectic craziness. I remember completely losing my shit over the holidays when the kids were little. As they grow older, it gets so much easier. Still crazy, but it seems less ‘ragey’. Love you.
Meredith says
Less ragey sounds fabulous–thanks for the encouragement, Frugie 😉 xoxoxo right back.
Stacey @nursemommylaughs says
I love you. I kept hearing the song “Let it Go” throughout this wonderful piece. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that my daughter is watching Frozen. I’m so sorry. Losing things that mean so much to you and can never be replaced are the worst. I’ve lost my shizz when that has happened. Time will help you get through this and eventually you will laugh. Maybe your mom was trying to get you laugh through this stressful season. Hugs!!
Meredith says
Stacey, you are the sweetest and always so very encouraging. “Let it go indeed!”–in fact, sounds like karaoke night might be in order 😉
Susan @Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva says
Loved this…I think after my tree fell 3 years in a row, I finally bought balls that don’t break! Of course, all those Hallmark ornaments are another story…*Sigh*
Hope the rest of the holidays are merry and happy and don’t involve trees on the ground!
Meredith says
Balls that don’t break–so smart! And I’ll drink to that–to keeping all those tree upright! 🙂
Jill says
I feel your pain. My tree fell over, all by it’s self, once I was about 95% done decorating it. Water everywhere, the decorations literally came off in one huge pile…Fun times. I almost scrapped the tree all together after that. But I am one of the crazy X-mas people who can’t get enough of anything X-mas so I started over from scratch. I think it actually looks better the second time around. 🙂 Merry Christmas to ou and yours!
Meredith says
Darn us for loving Christmas so much 😉 I’m with you, Jill! Toppled tress and all.
Kathy at kissing the frog says
Aww, I really love this. Like, really love this. What a great perspective and a wonderful reminder in the end about what’s important. xo
Meredith says
Kids have a way of clearing up what really matters so quickly, huh Kathy? xo right back.
Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. says
Love everything about this, Meredith. You are totally onto something with this philosophy… 🙂 And I couldn’t stop giggling at the beginning. Merry Christmas!
Meredith says
Giggling with you–aren’t kids fab, knocked trees and all? 😉
Kathy Radigan says
Whenever that stuff happens at my house and it happens often, like you, I do my best to remember that the tree (which I love also) is a thing. My mom was great about this. Growing up she had gorgeous ornaments and lovely things and she never once got mad at my sisters and I for breaking anything. I love her for that! xoxo Love you too! xo
Meredith says
A THING. Exactly, Kathy, a thing…great perspective–and the right one. xoxoxo
Peyton Price says
Lovely perspective, lovely person. xo
Meredith says
Lovely right back at you–in all things. xo
Erica says
Haven’t heard “take my children, but saaaaave the Christmas tree” in a long time! Thanks for the chuckle.
Meredith says
Always a fun throwback, huh? 😉
Femme @ femmefrugality says
Thank you, Meredith. We’ve come so close to knocking over the tree this year. So much time out. (Merry Christmas, kids!) One has been sick all week and the other is cutting teeth, so we haven’t slept since Sunday, canceling all our festive plans. But Santa will come. Thomas still has a Christmas special on Netflix. And despite it all my kids have still found reasons to smile. Christmas is coming after all, even if it didn’t comply with my carefully laid plans.
Meredith says
Femme, just know I’m right there with you in the dream of holiday giving you a major hug. xoxoxoxo
Erika says
I had a tree fall before we had kids, it broke my heart and a lot of my ornaments from my God-mother, but then friends and family went crazy and bought us a million ornaments that year and those are special to me now. Best way I have ever heard it said–write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser–amen!
Meredith says
What a gorgeous way for people to love on you and help make your tree magical! Love this story 🙂
Amy Flory - Funny Is Family says
Our tree fell over last year and it super sucked. It didn’t make me as sad as you must be feeling without your mom this time of year, though. Big hugs, pal. And sorry for laughing at that picture.
Meredith says
Oh please laugh–makes it so much sweeter! 🙂