It’s the first Friday of the month! In Mom of the Year world, this means it’s time to READ. Carrie of Normal Level of Crazy and I have been loving our monthly virtual book club–so much fun to share our reading obsession with all of you! Last month we read The Memory Box, and this month we are chatting Wild by Cheryl Strayed.
Carrie is filling you in on our in-person discussion below, so check in and then make sure to share your thoughts with us. WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Also, make sure to catch the title for next month and leave a comment on one of our posts so you can get your very own copy of Wild! Thanks for following along and reading with us, friends! Happy virtual book club day!
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Last month, my lovely friend, Meredith of The Mom of the Year, chose the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed as our book club read for the month of October. I hope you all got a chance to read it or, if not, at least added it to your must read list. Because it truly is a must read!
I’ll be honest, I’m always a little leery of these “Eat, Pray, Love” type books. Let’s face it, I’m a mom. I can’t go galavanting off to another country or wilderness to “find myself”. Don’t get me wrong. I want to! Desperately. Even Cheryl’s toenail-less feet and lack of decent food didn’t deter me from wistfully dreaming of doing exactly what she did … which was hike the Pacific Crest Trail for three months after the death of her mother.
I’m, of course, so curious to hear what you all thought of it. A couple of things stood out to me personally. I could relate so completely to Cheryl in the feelings she experienced in relation to her mother’s death. Having experienced my own mother’s death at about the same age as Cheryl, I thought Cheryl did an amazing job articulating the ups and downs, the deep waves and the soft flutters of grief.
This paragraph, in particular, blew me away.
“It was wrong. It was so relentlessly awful that my mother had been taken from me. I couldn’t even hate her properly. I didn’t get to grow up and pull away from her and bitch about her with my friends and confront her about the things I wished she’d done differently an then get older and understand that she had done the best she could and realize that what she had done was pretty damn good and take her fully back into my arms again. Her death had obliterated that. It had obliterated me. It had cut me short at the very height of my youthful arrogance. It had forced me to instantly grow up and forgive her every motherly fault at the same time that it kept me forever a child, my life both ended and begun in that premature place where we’d left off. She was my mother, but I was motherless. I was trapped by her but utterly alone. She would always be the empty bowl that no one could fill. I’d have to fill it myself again and again and again.”
Have you ever lost someone and found yourself struggling with that relationship?
I also found the way she explained her forgiveness of herself to be most powerful. How do you forgive yourself if you’ve done something you know if so completely and utterly wrong?
“What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I’d done something I shouldn’t have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I’d done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? … What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn’t have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?”
Have you ever had to forgive yourself of something that you had done wrong? Is it possible to do this and move on and let go?
Lastly, I found this passage – where Cheryl is discussing the legitimate fears of taking this journey by herself – a woman alone – to hold a deeper sense of the real condition of anxiety and how it shapes us and can take hold of us.
“It was a deal I made with myself months before and the only thing that allowed me to hike alone. I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me. Insisting on this story was a form of mind control, but for the most part, it worked. Every time I heard a sound of unknown origin or felt something horrible cohering in my imagination, I pushed it away. I simply did not let myself become afraid. Fear begets fear. Power begets power. I willed myself to beget power. And it wasn’t long before I actually wasn’t afraid.”
Do you relate to this passage? How about the stories you tell yourself? Are they always accurate or do they help perpetuate fear and anxiety in your life?
Meredith and I would love to hear your thoughts! Leave comments on one of our blog posts about this book and you will be entered to win a copy of Wild!! This will only be available to people living in the continental U.S, 18 or older, who comment by 11/14/15 at 5am, ET.
And don’t forget to go see the movie out December 5th starring Reese Witherspoon as Cheryl Strayed!!
Next?
Amy Poehler’s Yes Please.
One of my most favorite actresses on one of my most favorite shows, Parks and Recreation, Amy Poehler’s new book looks absolutely amazing! And I don’t know about you, but with the busy fall we’ve had, I could stand a few laughs!!
From the back cover:
In a perfect world . . .
We’d get to hang out with Amy Poehler, watching dumb movies, listening to music, and swapping tales about our coworkers and difficult childhoods. Because in a perfect world, we’d all be friends with Amy—someone who seems so fun, is full of interesting stories, tells great jokes, and offers plenty of advice and wisdom (the useful kind, not the annoying kind you didn’t ask for, anyway). Unfortunately, between her Golden Globe-winning role on Parks and Recreation, work as a producer and director, place as one of the most beloved SNL alumni and cofounder of the Upright Citizens’ Brigade, involvement with the website Smart Girls at the Party, frequent turns as acting double for Meryl Streep, and her other gig as the mom of two young sons, she’s not available for movie night.
Luckily we have the next best thing: Yes Please, Amy’s hilarious and candid book. A collection of stories, thoughts, ideas, lists, and haikus from the mind of one of our most beloved entertainers, Yes Please offers Amy’s thoughts on everything from her “too safe” childhood outside of Boston to her early days in New York City, her ideas about Hollywood and “the biz,” the demon that looks back at all of us in the mirror, and her joy at being told she has a “face for wigs.” Yes Please is chock-full of words and wisdom to live by.
Join us December 5th to discuss Amy’s new book!! And don’t forget to leave a comment to enter to win a copy of the book Wild!
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Chris Carter says
So THIS is the book people are talking about!! I hadn’t even heard about it- isn’t that awful? It sound profound. The passages you picked were powerful.
Now I need to get this book!! And ‘Yes Please” looks awesome!! I love her!!!
Meredith says
Chris, having you read along with us would be TOO much fun! Thanks for tuning in!
Courtney from Jessy & Jack says
Super excited about the online book club – I can’t wait to read Yes Please! And wouldn’t mind winning a copy of Wild, either. 🙂
Meredith says
Courtney, you have been too supportive of this online club–we’re thrilled that you are here! Happy reading!!
Angela McKeown Momopolize says
This book has been on my “want to read” list for a long time! I need a clone who’s only responsibility is to read books all day. Lol
Meredith says
THAT is a plan 😉
Kathy Radigan says
This sounds right up my alley!! I’m keeping my fingers crossed!
Meredith says
I think you would love it, Kathy!
hollow tree ventures says
Wow, Wild sounds amazing! And I bet Yes Please is a pretty great read, too. 🙂
Meredith says
I can’t wait to read it!
The NotsoSuperMom says
I’m like you, I can’t get down with the “Eat, Pray, Love” life-changing-cathartic-epiphanous-adventures either. Judging by these passages, however, the writing here is so good! and i am intrigued by how she is determined to conquer her fear. I feel like there were many things that I was afraid of as a teen and young adult that prevented me from doing more with my life at the time.
I am so curious to read this now and would love to read the next book as well. I kinda crapped out on the last book but I NEED a Book Club (I have been unable to go to my IRL one because of a scheduling conflict!) Must. Stick. With. THIS!!!
Meredith says
Do it! Drink the KoolAid and join us! No, seriously, reading with friends has been such an important joy in my life–happy to have you reading along. And yes, her courage leaves me humbled. Can’t wait to see the movie version of this to see how it comes across, you know?
Courtney says
I need this book! Please pick me so I can win it! Also, thanks for these ideas. I’m in a book club called Books and Wine and we’re always looking for good suggestions.
Meredith says
I love the name of your club! Will try my darn hardest to swing the random number your way, sweet friend!
Kristen Broome says
Love this! Sounds amazzzzinnng. And just what I need, another book 😉
Meredith says
Love books! 🙂 Please read with us!
Evil Joy says
i adore you. And this book looks amazing!!!!!
Meredith says
Aw, thanks, lady! And hope you get to read it!
thedoseofreality says
Off to order Yes Please right now, so I can join in for that discussion! :)-Ashley
Meredith says
Yay! Ashley, I love hearing your thoughts and am so glad to have you join us!