A fan of change, I am not. I’m still working to wrap my mind around this whole Sunday package-delivery jazz, and my husband knows if WordPress updates to a new layout, it’s best to just pass me a paper bag and walk away.
To me, life is full enough as such; the added stress of adapting to new things only exhausts energy. Energy that I don’t have, and if I did have it, I’d rather spend it tackling that inane junk drawer. Or, let’s be honest, catching up with People Style Watch.
But the darnedest thing is that life doesn’t stop. God kind of designed it this way, an ongoing cycle of flux and flow. So the nasty beast of change crops up.
New things.
Firsts.
Being the calm, pulled-together mama that I am, I tend to handle any new event with a hefty dose of hysterical fuss. Consider this an open apology to my husband, family, friends and people I run into in the school parking lot for having to put up with me. I am really sorry.
It can be for big things. I was very open about how much the start of Kindergarten slayed me.
It can be for smaller things. I phoned three other moms last week begging them to explain proper Book Fair protocol.
You see, we had never done a Book Fair before. As it turns out, we survived. It was also not horrible, kind of fun, and next year I will likely spend less time the night before undue panicking over cash versus credit card. But for this year, it was new, and so it was scary.
I don’t think it matters if you have kids or not, or how old the kids are if you do have them. Or if you work outside the home or in it. Or if you are 5 or 65. As long as you’re living and participating in this life, there is always going to be something new coming down the pike. A first. And if you have any measure of my nervousness in you, it might feel frightening, even overwhelming at times.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t do it.
Many firsts we don’t have a choice about–my son’s class was going to the Book Fair and I was expected to be there. Other firsts are fuzzier; agree to a national TV appearance? Burying self in hole under bed feels so much cozier.
Since my mother died, I’ve gotten better about pushing myself off the ledge and simply jumping. Part of it for me is that, in many ways, the worst already happened; The Horrible is no longer a first so I fear it less. The other part is the brevity of life became too real.
I highly doubt I will stop crowd-sourcing the merits of Dress A vs. Dress B on Facebook any time soon, but I do know I’m going to pick one of the dresses and just put it on. And go.
Go. Jump. Move. Staying in the same place is just so five minutes-ago.
First image credit: Thanks to Jen B. Studios for capturing my daughter’s fearlessness all in one picture!
Second image credit: Depositphotos.com, ID:4754565,copyright:monkeybusiness
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thedoseofreality says
So interesting that you said you were less afraid of firsts since your mom died. I have found the same thing to be true. I am not a fan of change at all. Ever. With anything. But I think I have learned to manage it better since that event. Because as you said so well, it turns out that whether I like it or not change is coming. Great post. And I love that photo of your sweet girl!-Ashley
Meredith says
It’s astounding how much that very sad experience of losing our moms has taught us, huh? I’m glad we can share this feeling of fearlessness that has come from it–bonds us in such a bittersweet way…xoxo
Cynthia Gabriele says
I am at the high end of your age range and have jumped so many times I can not count them any more. My most recent, and still trying to perfect, is Sprouts. I love it, I love meeting so many new people, making friends (big and small). I dispise being behind by months! Somehow it is working with the help of understanding consignors, buyers, and great new friends like YOU!
Meredith says
I love the way you have jumped with Sprouts. Not just because we love you (and your store!), but because it is such a source of inspiration for the cool things you can do if you put your mind to it. Thank you, Cindy!
Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 says
Wait, so should I bring cash or a card? Our first book fair is this week! Also, have you done school pictures yet? Turns out you can pay online. Hello, coupon codes!!
Meredith says
Darn coupon codes didn’t work for our school! But, after a mild panic attack, I did survive the nasty school picture order form. Success?? 😉 And I did credit card for books–but only after checking about 16 times to makes sure it was okay! Love that we’re first-timing it together, Jenn.
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms says
Beautifully written and true with a capital T. Love this one! Erin
Meredith says
xo, ladies!
Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says
I don’t do well with change either. As yo unsaid, though, it is coming constantly whether we like it or not. Sometimes we just have to jump, have faith, and hope for the best. 🙂
Meredith says
You nailed it, Lisa! I think faith is the key element in all this too–just keep praying and believing….
Kathy Radigan says
I am not a fan of change either and I do remember freaking out over my first book fair. And to make matters worse all three of my kids went to different elementary schools and each one had their own “way” (one kid parents would meet them, the two other schools liked kids to do it on their own)!
Like you I have found the best thing to do is jump!
Thanks for a great post!
Meredith says
Goodness, schooling the book fair x3? I can’t even imagine, Kathy! You are rocking this motherhood thing, friend.
Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. says
You and I have very similar temperaments. 🙂 I’m going to try to remember this post the next time I feel that crazy resistance that is so familiar to me. Thanks!
Meredith says
Crazy resistance fighting right there with you 😉 Godspeed, Stephanie!