It’s a small, cheap plastic caddy.
It sits on our fantastic old 70s-style metal desk that is too ugly and too huge to offload.
It is a paperclip holder–the kind with a magnetic ring around the top to hold a few clips within easy reach.
I found it when we were going through my grandparents’ apartment after my grandmother had died. My grandpa had gone a few years before, and the simplicity that had marked their lives together was only magnified as my grandma lived alone. They weren’t big on things or cluttering up space. But they were meticulously organized.
Their office space was vesitage to order with spare objects displayed. There was a cup with three pens and a few crappy dull pencils. A stapler. A lone notepad. And the paperclip holder.
As a young girl, I remember watching my grandpa file his paperwork, tidy up any loose business ends that needed tidied. His meticulousness kind of fascinated me; it was just part of who he was, a man I loved and admired.
So when the time came to sort through the few possessions my grandparents left on this earth, this delightfully simple plastic trinket jumped out at me. I wanted it.
I took it, set it on our desk and stared at it. It seemed peaceful, like it somehow belonged there–amidst our piles of receipts, half-used printer cartridges and random instruction manuals to God-knows-what (my own life is far from the sweet simplicity of my grandparents).
And then the big question came into play–could I use the paperclips??
You see, my mother was the stark opposite of my grandparents; her home was full and she loved finding new treasures. While I share her passion for delightful things, her tendency to hold on and keep instilled an almost paranoid fear of earthly objects in me. I become claustrophobic at the mere thought of obtaining a book through some other means than library borrowing. So I’m loathe to accumulate, to refuse to let go of things.
Also complicating my paperclip dilemma was that I lost my mother, my grandfather, and my grandmother all within a tiny handful of years–the same years in which I birthed both my children and we moved to a new home. So there was a lot of confusion about what I should keep or give away as we sorted through box after box after box…Would my daughter want that pair of earrings to show off her newly pierced ears in the years to come??
I gave away things I’m kicking myself for not keeping. I look at some of the stuff I saved and feel silly. I still have no idea if I’m being materialistic with what I cling to or foolish for what I toss away.
So I continue to stare at the paperclip holder. I have no idea how many are left in it.
Sometimes I get stubborn and cling to the little plastic-coated metal clips, hoarding them for future safety in a way that doesn’t make sense, but feels necessary all the same.
But also, I use them. I use them for things like clipping deposit slips and storing my children’s medical records.
It’s a careful, cautious balance between acknowledging the important and letting life breathe as it demands. While I continue to shoot for the balance, I’m going to keep shooting for that gorgeous meticulous organization, using the paperclips to help me as I really need to along the way.
And you know what? I think my grandpa would have liked it this way.
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Cynthia Gabriele Sprouts Consignment Boutique says
The clips are symbolic & I can understand your situation. I save the strangest things & never fully understand their importance just that they are!
Meredith says
Exactly. Rarely do I get why they are important…but they so are.
Senora says
Mer, You said “it jumped out at me and I wanted it”. Obviously, It is very symbolic to you and brings back sweet memories of your dear grandparents. You were meant to have that! It’s OK if we can’t answer “why?” I am probably more like your mother, but working on being more like you! When I had to clean out my mother’s house, many things just went to my house! However, I DID take a few things to Jubilee. One day a few weeks later my husband took some things to Jubilee and couldn’t resist ‘looking” at their goods. He came home and said “I got you a sugar bowl” (I didn’t know I needed one). When I looked at it, I said “you just bought my mother’s sugar bowl!” Now, I take that as a real sign that I was meant to have that sugar bowl and we use it every day!!!! I will never part with it! So, keep the paper clips and holder and let the good memories roll. Your grandparents would be pleased!!!
Meredith says
I love this sugar bowl story, Senora! Yes, that bowl is meant to be part of your lives. Keep using it, and keep remembering!
Suburban Snapshots says
It’s a tiny box. Hold onto it.
I am the same way — I don’t love accumulating things. My mom’s house is covered in her little treasures, in my own home I am calculating in the way I disappear things while my family is at work or school. But that, that little thing is a treasure.
Meredith says
All about figuring what the true treasures are and holding on to those…
Janine Huldie says
Totally get this and I have a few items from both my grandparents that mean the world to me even if they are just small trinket type things, but still I could never part with them and not sure I would be able to use all the paper clips either clinging to the last piece that still somehow connects to them.
Meredith says
Funny how it’s somehow the trinkets that connect us the most, Janine. Keep holding on.
Momma O says
I have little trinkets all around my house, that used to belong to my great-grandmother, grandmother, and grandfather. Some are religious statues that sat on their bureaus, others are mismatched dish sets, and one is a really gaudy clock that hung in my grandparent’s house for 64 years -that now hangs in my dining room. There are certain things that just stand out and hold certain memories. I love the paperclip holder and paperclips that you have. Things like that allow us to have our loved ones in our lives for even longer.
Meredith says
Isn’t it funny how sometimes it’s the guadiest stuff that jumps out. I am so glad you have that clock, Momma O!
Kathy at kissing the frog says
It’s hard to let go of things for me. Not necessarily for their utilitarian value, but the sentimentality that they bring. And honestly? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I have to share this with my mom – she will appreciate it. 🙂
Meredith says
Most of the stuff is of no use at all! And I’m still not letting go of it. Keep clinging, Kathy…
Sisterhood of the Sensible Mom says
I think you summed up life in a nutshell, or rather, a paperclip holder. Ellen
Meredith says
😉 xo, Ellen.
Kathy Radigan says
Wow I just love this piece! I’m not big on holding onto things, I leave that up to my husband, but I will confess here that I have kept one baby bottle from my youngest, who is 9 and hasn’t taken a bottle since he was 2! There is something special about the things we hold onto and those things that give us comfort. Maybe I could us the bottle to hold paperclips, at least then it would be useful!! Lol! xox
Meredith says
I have some of the treasures from my kids’ baby years too, Kathy! And I don’t plan on letting them go!
Frugalistablog says
I miss the tidy ways of our generation before us. Well, before our parents. My mom is a clutter bug and hoards (collects) a lot. I think I inherited that trait. I yearn of a clutter free space but can never grasp it for myself. I’m glad you kept the paperclips. Keep them always.
Oh, and I should get me a paperclip holder. I never have any! Just safety pins everywhere!
Meredith says
I know…I so wish my life could have their gorgeous simplicity sometimes!
Courtney says
Babe, this is a gorgeous example of the struggles we go through as we decided what we need vs what we don’t need. I hate to own stuff, but there are some things I can’t send out the door. Who will use them? No one, but they are still here. Other things I have claimed and use them as much as possible, the way Scott would have wanted them used. I bet your grandpa would love that you treasure them and use them so they are not wasted. xxoo
Meredith says
Isn’t it funny how it’s sometimes it’s the stuff that matters so much when so much else has been taken away? I love you, Courtney.