Weird week around these parts. Monday was a delight of gorgeous weather and hitting up our beloved Longwood Gardens with some of sweet friends, and then things sort of fell apart. Tuesday is vague, but I remember a lot of temper tantrums and desperate dreams of locking myself in a closet–permanently. Then Wednesday it was time to make the cupcakes for preschool.
I’ll let that sink in. Making cupcakes for preschool.
You see, Thursday was to be The Celebration. The celebration of all the summer birthdays in the class. And our job was the cupcakes. I have a summer birthday. As does my husband. So I feel for these kids, I do. Everyone likes to pretend that summer birthdays are still recognized, but really…so I was going all out with these cupcakes. I found Duff Goldman’s blue cupcakes mix on sale at the grocery store and thought, “Let’s do this thing!”
Several blue-dye-stained articles of clothing and Smurf-like children later, I realized that making blue-dyed cupcakes with kids involves blue dye. And kids.
Excellent. Time to drop my son and the neon-ish cupcakes off at school and regroup a bit on Thursday. Or so I thought. My son has eye surgery scheduled for today, Friday. Silly me thought that if I just watched my phone and waited for the call announcing our scheduled surgery time, we would be good to go. I trekked down to Bible Study with my daughter and anticipated a restful-ish morning.
This was not the case.
I made the grave error of taking a pee break during the study. By the time I finished washing my hands, I had missed two calls. Upon returning them, I learned the first was a from a verbose financial adviser notifying me that we would owe over $500 the next day. Again, excellent.
It’s possible my mood was “grouchy” by the time I got around to phoning back the pre-op nurse. It’s also possible that her endless 30+ minutes of inane questions made feel less charitable.
Despite cognitively knowing she meant well and did have a purpose to her questions, I somehow lost patience between chatting about my 4 yr. old son’s religious preferences and his sister’s estimated preschool start date. Right around minute 22, the nurse asked, “Was he born vaginally or by C-section?”
“Vaginally”, I responded.
“What was that?”
“Vaginally!”
“Sorry, one more time?”
“VAGINALLY. I PUSHED MY SON THROUGH MY VAGINA AND HE WAS BORN.”
The church lobby was rather silent otherwise.
“Okay, do you have a pet?” Was this real? Was I being punked??
“Yes, a dog.”
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“”Boy, named Bailey.” I knew she would ask the name.
“How do you spell that?”
And that, dear readers, is why I was late snatching my daughter from her nursery class and racing back to pick up my son and his cupcake tins from preschool. I had to spell my dog’s name.
And do a quick change of my daughter’s pull-up in the parking lot which was filled with poop. Poop that was a fluorescent greenish blue hue, by the way.
You see, she had been very helpful with the cupcakes the day before.
But now, for today, here hoping for less teal poop and a very successful de-patching of the eye. Keep us in your prayers and see you on the flip side of this surgery, my friends!
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Teri says
Keeping you’re little pirate in my thoughts today!
Meredith says
Thanks, Teri!
Jen b says
Haha you got this . He’s got this. Here for you. Unless your daughter has another colored poop, then that’s all you..l 😉
Meredith says
Got it–will keep the green poop in my house 😉
Lisa R. Petty says
I love it! When my son was little, my mom and I were talking about when my pregnant cat had her kittens when we were at work and school, when I was about 8. My son, then about 8, asked how the cat had her babies when a doctor wasn’t there to cut open her belly. He has always known that he was a c-section baby. I told him that some moms have babies through their vaginas. He said he is glad he didn’t come out of my vagina because then he “would smell like vagina.”
Meredith says
Sounds completely logical, Lisa 😉 Love it!
Ashley @ 3littlegreenwoods says
Praying for your son, no more neon-tastic poop and B-A-I-L-E-Y! 😉
{{big hugs}}
~ Ashley
Meredith says
I think B-A-I-L-E-Y esp. appreciates the prayers, Ashley, after having to put up with all our crazy!
Renae says
Are those questions for real?!?!? If it makes you feel any better I didn’t hear any of your convo
Renae says
PS you’re putting the rest if us moms to shame walking around Longwood dressed all cute
Meredith says
It really, really does make me feel better, Renae 😉 And no way–no pants fit, so the stretchy dresses are the only options! xo
Cynthia Gabriele Sprouts Consignment Boutique says
Keep us posted on Isaac’s eye surgery! Prayers are with all of you!
For the beautiful color poop: Memory of fun making the cupcakes!
Meredith says
All about the memories, Cindy 🙂
Frugalistablog says
He’s gonna be just fine. Oh, and that blue frosting is the worst! We had a unintended Smurf birthday once too.
Meredith says
Unintended Smurfs are tricky beasts 😉
Carrie says
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! This reminds me of the time that Dad bought my mom a 3 gallon tub of her favorite ice cream blue moon (yes 3 gallons!) Needless to say, after eating gigantic sized bowls of the blue deliciousness for days we all had neon green poop. It was fun. Oh, and I kind of feel bad that my toddler and your dog share the same name. What was I thinking!?!?!?
Meredith says
But listen, Carrie, at least we’re now all clear on the spelling of “Bailey” 😉 Bring on the blue moon ice cream!
Chris Carter says
Okay- I have had COUNTLESS pre-op calls from nurses to gather all the GOBS of information they need. But never…ever…ever have I been asked those THOSE questions!!!! What on EARTH??? Oh Meredith!!! I just pictured you getting more and more irritated on the phone and racing to the nursery, pull up change with poop in the parking lot and then off to preschool- CLASSIC day in the life. BLESS YOUR HEART!!!
I am just so glad surgery went okay. I do hope you fill us in on the details….
Like if you had to answer more questions, maybe like if you swiffer or sweep your floors on a daily basis? Perhaps how often you take that dog (what’s his name, could you spell it again please?) out to poop.
Meredith says
Darn, you’re so right! Cannot believe I forgot to fill her in on my floor cleaning procedures…;) Love you so much, Chris! xo
WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion says
Brady’s first birthday smash cake: blue. D’oh!
Here’s hoping your vaginally birthed son is doing A-OK now!
Meredith says
So no blue for baby girl in a year?? 😉 Love you, Steph!
Kari says
Seriously cracking up out loud at my computer screen as I read this! So wish I would have been in the lobby at that moment to overhear that conversation! Hope the surgery went well and prayers for a restful (if at all possible) weekend.
Meredith says
I’m so glad you’re dying over this too–such a banner week 😉 xo, Kari!
Kathy at kissing the frog says
Don’t you just love those phone calls that are supposed to take 5 mins and take a half hour while a toddler is off doing goodness knows what? Glad the surgery went well!
Meredith says
Can’t imagine how fun it is being on the other end of those calls too 😉
Dani Ryan says
So glad the nightmare is over and that he got through it like a champ! xoxo
(P.S. I want to squeeze your daughter – she’s too cute!)
Meredith says
Be careful–blue might come out when you squeeze!