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Hey God! Please add this??
I’m struggling right now. The kids, and all their stuffed princesses and shooting neon Nerf guns are adorable, but…but…this mama is TIRED. You see, I think I am missing some gene…
The gene that has endless patience with 2 yr. old fits over why Mommy makes her wear shoes when the temps are in the teens.
The gene who doesn’t mind trying to put up with my 4 yr. old’s fury with me because “it gets dark at night” (so obviously my fault).
The gene that allows me to not mind still being a parent when I have a 102 degree fever.
I really wish I had this gene. I wish I got giddy about all the sandwiches that must be cut in 4 perfect triangles lest the wrath of Hell breaks out. I wish I could always remember my daughter furiously requires her bird pillow and pink sippy in close proximity at all waking moments. And pray to God that I never forget how to cue up the latest Wii penguin game.
Sound like I’m just whining and complaining? Maybe. Sound like my kids are schooling me and leading the show? Maybe.
But the thing is, I’m a “good” mom. I know this. I distinctly remember the moment in my early 20s, when after years of raging at my parents in classic teen angst, I finally got that they got it right. They kept us safe. They fed us. They attended school concerts. They got us to the doctor every time we needed it and for not-so-silly things like annual check-up. They loved us and made sure we knew it.
These are the things that matter.
I do these things. I’m not saying my kids always like me. Or that I always like them. Sometimes, they really, really piss me off. I set limits. We fight. We have time-out stairs. It gets ugly.
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WHY must they be so darn cute?!
Yet the darnedest thing is that these kiddos God entrusted to my care are people. They have needs, opinions, thoughts. And while it is my job to temper and guide them, I can’t control them. And I get tired of trying. I get tired of fighting. This is where I figure I am missing some gene? But regardless, this is my job.
I signed up for this. Even when I don’t feel like it, I am still a parent. Shoot.
So bring on these sucktastic temper tantrums. I can sleep in 20 yrs., right? For now, I just keep mantra-ing, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ” And then when I get to the point where I feel like I still can’t even stand-up much less face another messy poop wipe? Again: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” And again. And again. And again. Until it’s bedtime and I get a chance to start all over tomorrow.
I can do this. I may not want to. I may be missing a gene. But God gave me this job, so let’s school this beast, shall we?
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Steph at I'm Still Learning says
I’m missing that gene, too. Does anybody have the gene to be able to deal with a 2yo? I say, not likely! And when I’m sick with a fever, I can’t even function. I am unable to parent.
But we are all good moms who show our kids love and affection. We are good moms where it counts.
Meredith says
You nailed it, Steph. Thanks for getting it and for the encouragement!
Diane says
Not missing a gene. Sleep, yes. Time to yourself, yes. But genes? No. And your mantra is inspiring. You’re definitely on the right track, however hilly that track may be! 🙂 And, trust me, it ends all too soon! And rather abruptly. Suddenly, you realize it’s been 23 years since you last changed your son’s diaper! Sigh.
Meredith says
Diane, you offer that sweet hope of one who has gone before–but still keeps it so real. xo and thanks 🙂
Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point says
I’m pretty sure that gene is a just an urban legend. It doesn’t really exist.
Meredith says
This makes me feel so much better…darn nasty urban legends.
Meredith says
Andy is a smart guy. And listen, I’ll throw my kids in the van and they can swing by and pick up yours on their way out??
Kathy at kissing the frog says
Ha – interesting. When I feel beaten down and soo soo tired and horrible about forgetting some favorite thing of one of my boys that I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN and I am so ready to just give up, I repeat, “I can do this, I can do this. Just keep going, just keep going.”
Yes, we can sleep in 20 years, but we probably won’t. 😉 Love you, lady!!
Meredith says
Just keep going is right–we can do this, right? Love you back, Kathy.
Stephanie says
Love your honesty. We definitely all feel this way at least weekly. You are so brave to put it out there to make us all feel normal.
Meredith says
Never brave, just exhausted–but glad I’m not alone 🙂
Meredith says
Stumbled upon this post on twitter. So glad I did!! 🙂 Love your honesty (something I strive for on the blog too) and of course, you’re name is Meredith, so you must be awesome. I will be back….
Meredith says
Aw, Meredith, thanks! So appreciate you reading this and checking in. All about the honesty, right? 🙂 Go get ’em…
JD @ Honest Mom says
Ah, yes. I am missing that gene too. I hear ya, sister! Just keep swimming, right? It can be hard, for sure.
I can tell you, though, that my girls are 5 and almost 8 now … and it’s easier. It really is. Just hang on!!! 🙂
Meredith says
xoxoxo for sharing the hope. Thanks, friend!
Arnebya says
I don’t have the gene, but I have the tendency to act as though I do. In and out, off and on goes the DESIRE to be the responsible person, the adult, the mom. But the constant is the requirement to do it. So no, you don’t sound whiny or complaining. You sound normal and the voice of/for many women. I think admitting/acknowledging our gene deficiencies makes us relatable.
Meredith says
Cheers to solidarity in admitting our gene deficiencies, Arnebya! Thanks for getting it 🙂
Nicole Leigh Shaw says
I don’t have it either, babe. Solidarity.
Meredith says
*Fist-bump* and xo.
femmefrugality says
This is so appropriate….this whole concept just hit me today. Like they’re little people with their own strengths and weaknesses….who am I to pick at their weaknesses (as long as they’re not hurting anyone?) We’ll just focus on the strengths for now. I think the whole frustration thing happens a lot when there’s a polar vortex. And then you’re sick for a week. And then there’s another polar vortex. And then it’s finally warm enough to snow inches. And you haven’t left the house since New Years. And by you I mean I. :p
Meredith says
“And by you I mean I”–I love you, Femme.