Yes, my home office actually is this perfect.
Sometimes I get asked how I write. (Not that often, really, because let’s be honest–who actually cares?). But wait–what?? What do you mean, “how do I write?” Like, there’s supposed to be a method? Shoot, I knew I was getting this whole thing wrong…
Basically, when I realize I have a post or an assignment due, I maturely work to ignore it as long as possible. And then when I can no longer ignore it, I panic. And then I check my online yardsaling account, praying that someone has bought something not only because I want the cash, but because it will give me an excuse to put off working for at least another 2 minutes.
Also surely, I need to check in on my e-mail at least 7 times quickly?
See, everything you’ve ever learned about procrastination? I’ve got it in spades. Spades.
But, a job is a job, and I declared myself a writer months ago, so I settle in, cozying up under my blanket and pretend I can’t hear my dog pawing at the door. I ignore my buzzing phone and try to channel in a focused attention. The result is UTTER SUCCESS. Usually, I can get an entire sentence written before my son begs for juice. And while I can tune out the many things, I can’t not hear my kids. And I don’t want to. So the juice is procured, and then blanket cozying is restored…
But wait where was I? I think was in the middle of messaging my friend, right? If it’s a good day, I may have even been being selfless enough to ask her about how she was doing, vs. just whining about the injustice of having to work. I’m just super-magnanimous like that. I suck.
Back to working.
Mmmhhh….I heard a rumor Sephora was having a sale today. There is nothing so soothing to me as online trolling for bargain make-up, even though I don’t buy anything. I wish I was joking. So does my husband.
I can’t believe I ever actually manage to hit “publish” with this refined method, yet miracles do happen. And yes, I do totally annoy myself.
To prolong the publishing process, I have this nifty policy of getting my husband to read every single post before it goes live. Every single one. Usually, this means I remember to ask him about 2 seconds before he drifts off at night and then beg him to give it a once over. He loves me, really. I just don’t know why.
You see, friends, I wish I was organized. And coordinated. And always had my crap together and pre-wrote all assignments weeks in advance. I do not. While we’re being real, I probably never will. For some silly reason, I feel called to do what I’m doing, so I’m going to keep doing it. I’m going to keep squeezing it in the corners, shopping for my Urban Decay products as futile distraction, and pleading with my husband to check my grammar.
It will likely never be pretty. It will always be a fight to get it done and make it the best that I can.
So “how do I write?” I write under the belief that I need to do what I’m doing and a very stubborn refusal to give up on myself–not just yet, anyway. Maybe someday it will all make sense, but for today? It’s sheer mess and that’s okay.
The how? Hope and dreams and chaos. The only formula that works, really.
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Meg says
Throw in sharing custody of the laptop with a 14 yr old girl and you have my life. Thank you for a great look at how we get there in spite of ourselves.
Meredith says
Oh crap. Hadn’t even thought about when my kids are old enough to use my computer! Hang in there, Meg!
Alexis says
It’s nice to know that my “office” isn’t the only one that looks like a pile of laundry with a sleeping cat on it.
So I bought this software called Freedom ($10) that locks me out of the Internet for a set period of time. I thought, “I’m a grown up – I don’t need this!” Turns out I do – stunning how my word count ran up once I removed all other viable alternatives 😛
Meredith says
Mmmh…now THAT is interesting, Alexis, thanks for sharing this!
Terrye says
There’s supposed to be a method to writing? Huh. Well, then I fail daily. 😀
Meredith says
I know, who knew, right Terrye??
Kathy at kissing the frog says
Yeah, no method here. Unless, that is, you actually DO call procrastination a method . . .
Meredith says
Let’s call it one so we can feel like we’re on the game, Kathy?
Frugalistablog says
Were we separated at birth? Because I’m pretty sure you just described my ‘method’ as well.
Meredith says
Oh Frugie…that I could only dream of being your double 😉
Chris Carter says
Love this Meredith! Okay- can I call you Mer? Is that how I would spell it? Every SINGLE TIME I write your full name, I always want to shorten it in that “we are such good friends I can shorten your name real cute like that” way…
Well, I will wait to hear back from you on that one! (Mer!) But see, that looks like it rhymes with Prrr…. I want it to rhyme with pear!!!
Oy.
Now really, what was I thinking reading one more blog?? I need to go write. 😉
Meredith says
Chris, I think you calling me Mer sounds perfect–will take the nickname with honor 🙂 And I love that this kind of stuff is what runs through your mind while writing is supposed to happen…we’re cut from the same cloth, my friend! xo
Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point says
I have my wife proofread each post before being published. She’ll never admit it but I think she likes it when I wait to ask her to do it after she’s laid down to go to sleep.
Meredith says
These secretly-delighting-in-our-adorable-procrastination spouses…we should probably keep them?
Christine at More than Mommies says
Same process right here! I could have written this post…but only after stewing on it for an afternoon, catching up on my Facebook feed, and scrolling through Instagram. In fact, I took a break while composing this comment to check my email! Just. Keep. Writing.
Meredith says
See, Christine, this makes me admire you more–that you do all this AND Instagram (I’ve been too chicken to start). I bow to your multitasking efficiency 😉
Alison says
Mere, you’ve grown into quite the procrastinator since college…I’m so proud, sniff, sniff.
Meredith says
Comes from hanging out with the best 😉 Thanks for schooling me, friend!
Cynthia Gabriele Sprouts Consignment Boutique says
Great!!
Meredith says
:), Cindy!
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms says
How did you get inside my head and describe my writing process? 🙂 I was reading through the comments and saw the Freedom software that locks you off of the internet. Is it a sign of my maturity that the thought of it made me twitchy? I’ committed to writing, but maybe not that committed. Ellen
Meredith says
Made me twitchy too, Ellen! Not sure I’m strong enough for the commitment!
Roshni says
And, despite the chaos, you come up with a lovely piece like this!! Ooooh…I hate you!!
<3 <3
Meredith says
Roshni, you are kind…and I’m adoring you right back! 🙂
Tamara (at PenPaperPad) says
I resemble this so much. I declared writing as my job last year, and never has the need to avoid it been so intense!
Meredith says
It gets so tricky, I know, Tamara.
Norine of Science of Parenthood says
I’m with you Meredith! My house gets cleaner the closer the deadline! 😉 Oh and I work under blankets and sleeping cats too. Love your office. You might post a picture on the Tumblr Where Bloggers Blog. Serious. Fun piece. Loved it.
Meredith says
Thanks, Norine! To cozying up under blankets and pets…and to way cleaner houses!
thedoseofreality says
LOVE LOVE LOVE this so much! 🙂 You have totally nailed exactly how this gig goes!-Ashley
Meredith says
Fun job, right, Ashley? 😉
Paige Kellerman says
This sounds like a veeery similar writing process I know of. I’ve recently subscribed to the method of typing a sentence, break up a fight. Type a sentence, break up a fight. Type a sentence, resolve to sell all children to the next person who knocks on the door.