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Bullseye Indeed
Okay, let’s be real. There are very few places in this earth that fill me with such instantaneous joy as Target. Anyone else hear me on this? I walk through the doors, pee myself a little in glee whilst looking wistfully at the Starbucks counter and beeline for a sure stock of cheap gadgets to bribe my kiddos with in the dollar aisle.
If I was smart (I am not), I would save the bribe for the end, but Target has bested me on this. They locate the dollar section at the front of the store and I am weak, so I cave, and 12 packs of Minnie Mouse crayons and light-up shoelaces get thrown in the cart as we trek off for the more serious errands of fresh underwear and gifts for Pappy’s birthday.
Doing my best to ignore the temper tantrums and multiple attempts of kiddos to launch themselves out of the cart, I refuse to abandon my joy. Oh no, I am going to look at leisure at the clearance shampoos, and toddler antics be darned. Momma has got to case out the new selection of band-aids and chapstick. There are very few pleasures in this world of young kids, and shopping for toiletries is one of them. DO NOT DENY ME.
The bonus is that a trip to Target is also a work-out. We shop kids-in-cart around these parts and pushing that beast of a packed shopping cart is no joke. While my upper arms benefit, the items I select do not fare well. They have very little chance of remaining intact. Listen, if you get a card from me that is wrinkled with the imprint of a foot on it, I apologize in advance. But it’s going to happen. At least until I grow up enough to allow my children to walk beside the cart versus in it. Consider the footprints “extra love” and just pretend you don’t notice.
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Because leafing through the sales ad is the highlight of my week…
Once, I tried to shop for groceries at Target to “save time” in combining my trip to the Red Mecca WITH my grocery store trip. Never again. After my daughter hit several people in the head with flying bags of coffee and I somehow snagged $30 worth of children’s clearance on my way to the cereal aisle, I swore that business off. Time saving be darned, best I pretend the whole pretty grocery section of Target doesn’t even exist.
Another problem? What used to be the cute pre-kid goal of keeping a single trip to Target under a $50 somehow bumped up to a goal of $100 or less. Or if we’re being really honest…$150?? C’mon, those lawn chairs have been needed for years…
Do I send my husband to make all returns because if I enter the store I know I will find more things I “need”? Yes. Do I try to exclusively shop online tempted by the free shipping and 5% off with my Red Card? Yes. Do I still dedicate way more of my life savings to the Target empire than I ever intended? YES.
Despite the sticky wickets of the ever increasing cost of a single trip and the fact that a visit here with the kiddos requires significant post-trip sedation, I love the store. In true Where The Heart Is style, I long to spring for a second wedding and get married in a Target. This is logical. It’s one of the most perfect places ever.
My son has a t-shirt with a red dot in the middle. He calls it his “Target shirt” and begs for when we can go back next. I have trained him well to love the important things in life.
So, in short, count me in–cheap toys, ugly bribes, flying coffee and all. I’m in, I’m all in and (slightly figuratively) wearing the Target bulls’ eye on my forehead until the end of my days.
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