Misplaced by a Few Decades

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Sometimes I cry because I want to wear one of these swim caps so badly

It occurred to me the other day as I was kicking off my laborious nighttime routine, replete with all its multitude of creams, at 7pm, that I might not be exactly “acting my age”.  I have always maintained a deep sense that my true home was in a retirement community.  There is so much about the senior lifestyle that becomes increasingly appealing.

I think it’s possible, through some misfortune of fate, that I have been misplaced by a few decades, and simply fit in better with those kickin’ the latter portion of life…

Being a grandparent just sounds so darn appealing.  Play with the kids, have them fall in love with you, and then send them home?  Um, yes, please.

Who says that Wheel of Fortune has gone out of style?  Though I can’t figure out how Vanna is still going on those heels.

Words games in general appeal to me.  The bliss of a nice Uniball pen and a crossword puzzle book?  Let me adjust my heating pad and settle in.  Plus, I need to score some extra insurance in keeping my aging brain active.

Jillian Michaels is my gal, no doubt, but a nice evening walk?  Jillian might have to bury herself in the DVD shelf for a minute while I go for my stroll.   Spying on Observing the comings and goings of my neighbors?  A convenient bonus.

I have no idea what Mahjongg is, but I would love to find out.

I heard a rumor that it is possible to watch a whole movie from start to finish without falling asleep during the opening credits or needing to tend to a crying child.  I know.  I KNOW.  I’ll let that sink in for a minute…

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Being able to shop as a couple & have someone help you when the milk gets heavy?
Perfect.

 Let’s not hate on the 9pm bedtime.

If by some frightful circumstance, I found myself in a club, I would immediately look for a spot to sit down.  Now, I’m not saying I’m above chair dancing, but I wouldn’t want to get unnecessarily jostled by a throng of wild young people.  Yeah, I’m just that much fun.

It has not escaped my attention that while there are seeming benefits to technology, it is largely an evil force determined to confuse and frustrate me.  What is all this fancy crap about social media and blogs?

Time to organize my closet.  Time to organize my closet.  TIME TO ORGANIZE MY CLOSET.

So I leave you on this Friday, the brink of another wild weekend on hand.  It’s probably going to get pretty wild up in here, but first, let me go snatch a nice cup of herbal tea.

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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