Bonus Time!

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Event of the Century

Forget St. Pat’s or Easter, the cherished Spring holiday of Clinique Bonus time has arrived!

I think there are two sides to the fence on this one.  Either you know exactly what I’m talking about and if you haven’t already scored your free make-up bag full of goodies, you have already logged off and hightailed it to the nearest Boscov’s.  For the rest of you who are still here and scratching your heads, let me explain how this works.  Every now and again, Clinique has this promo thing where if you go in and spend $25 at their counter, they send you home with a free sample bag of face products, eye shadow and lipstick.  You then feel like a million bucks because you just snagged free make-up.  If you are a fan, you don’t miss Bonus Time.  You wait for it, you stalk it, and when it arrives you get yourself to that Clinique booth.  The sense of accomplishment is huge.

Since I live the high life and managed to eke in a chiropractic appointment last week without my little comrades, I decided to do a quick swing-by to grab my freebie.  I carefully prepped myself, “You will spend no more than the requisite $25.” I even boxed in my time from any crazy spontaneous shopping, promising my son I would be back to read him his bedtime stories.  This was all business; I had built my parameters in perfectly.

And then I got to the counter and met Janet.  Janet was wonderful.  She was pretty and had her hair done perfectly.  She looked glorious in her make-up and her white lab coat make her look the epitome of cosmetic professional.  Janet was not rushed.  She was friendly.  I told her I needed eye cream, and then I don’t know what happened.  Suddenly, the back of my hand was covered with about 16 different lotions and potions and Janet was telling me all about the value of plant extracts.  Time blurred and somehow we had moved on to discussing the importance of an overnight mask.  At one point, Janet even whipped out the 15 lb. Clinique product manual and we were paging through, comparing and contrasting different serums.  I have no idea what a serum even is.

Normally, I would be annoyed at the obscene amount of time it was taking to check off this errand, but I got lost in the bliss of it.  It didn’t matter what Janet was saying, she was talking to me, and she wasn’t screaming or begging for more juice.  And I just kept looking at her estimated 60-some-ish years and thinking, is it really ever possible my lip liner will be that perfect?  Will I ever actually be able to have to time to apply lip liner?  Do they still make lip liner?

So carry on, Janet, you just keep telling me all about those plant extracts, because I’m listening.  I can’t afford to buy them, but hearing these fancy words from a world in which people have time to care about what they are slathering on my face is music to my ears.  Just wrap it up in the next 2 min. and 5o seconds because I have a hot date with Curious George.  Oh, and don’t forget to throw in my free cosmetic bag of goodies.

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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