I’m Jealous of My Daughter

Here’s the thing:  I love my daughter, but I’m pretty green with envy over some parts of her life right now.

1. When she steals the whipped cream out of the refridegerator and goes holes up on an armchair to suck it down, I’m kind of in awe.  Give it up for her speed and taste in snack foods.  Sure, I’m a little concerned that this may be correlated with a future of her doing whippets, but mostly I’m just jealous that she can look so darn cute while pounding whipped cream from the can.

Source
See, I told you it was really adorable, didn’t I?

2.  Her clothes are adorable.  Why does Old Navy not make that sweet little coat in my size?  Darn sizeists.  It even has a pretty puffy flower on it.  I want.  And how is it that she can rock pink boots.  I would probably get laughed out of Walmart (scratch that, anything is fair game at Walmart…)

3.  If something makes her mad, she gets to cry and stomp her feet.  Um, yes please.  Enough of this being mature and rising against our instinctive reactions crap.

4. Someone else cuts her food and makes her chocolate milk.  This is really getting unfair now…

5.  She gets to sleep in footed pajamas.  As in, her feet don’t get cold.  Is there no justice in this world?!

6. I’m pretty sure that after our last visit to Longwood Christmas, my arms fell off from the strain of pushing the double stroller up and down all those hills.  She, meanwhile, remained super-comfy warm under her lap blanket.  If I ever tried to pull off a lap blanket, I know my husband would make fun of me the entire way into 2014.

7.  Can we revisit the clothes thing?  The coat was really, really cute.

8. If she picks up a teenie purse, holds it out and toddles about with it, everyone thinks she looks like a little doll.  I would look like an elderly woman who had clearly tippled a tad too much.

9. Manners are relative at her age.  If she sees something unusual, she can point at it and scream “Da-doo!” (because everything is “Da-doo!” right now).  If I see something whacky, I’m just supposed to politely turn my head.

10. If she gets tired and cranky, she can go to bed at 7:30pm, and no one thinks she’s crazy.  Really, does 9pm have to come so very late each night??

You’re having a good run, sweetheart.  Enjoy it while it lasts because that coat only runs up to a size 5.

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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