“Santa’s” Letter to My Kids

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We leave the cookies, he leaves the letter.

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!  Being as “in” with the Big Guy as I am (okay, fine, he’s kind of ticked at me after sending that slew of more challenging requests his way this year), he agreed to work his Christmas magic and send me a copy of the letter he will leave tonight for my kids (and neurotic dog) a little early so I could share it with all of you.  Since he’s truly The Stuff, he kind of knows exactly how this evening is going to go down before it even happens.  He’s a pretty funny guy, too.

And here’s sending a very special thanks to my dad, who may have been the force behind similarly special personalized letters written to my sister and me for years.  And he may have had something to do with this one too 😉

Hope you enjoy and have a wonderful holiday, my readers.

Hi Isaac, Elyse, and Bailey:

I bet you are surprised to see this printed letter. This year I have equipped my sleigh with a state of the art laptop and wireless printer so that I can become part of the high tech world that every body else is in. Save the old hand written letters that you have as a reminder of the good old days.

Isaac and Elyse, I remember when I met you both at the fire hall Santa breakfast a few weeks ago.  Isaac, I hope that the red dinosaur car I brought you is just like the one you asked for. Elyse, you were not very talkative, but I know what toys to bring to little girls like you.

Bailey, it was good to not see you. I appreciated that the gate at the top of the steps was shut. You appear to be a very good dog and I think it is great that you and Elyse get along so well. However, having a big brown dog sniffing around when I am trying to get presents out of my sack doesn’t make me really happy and my reindeer are not really fond of brown or any other color dogs.

My reindeer and I were also concerned that Bailey and other members of your family have not been friendly to foxes over the last year which we believe may be indicative to an aversion to animals other than dogs. I noticed that there were no signs of any cats in your house. I like cats a lot.

I really appreciate your nice roomy fireplace and the fact that your tree is conveniently located next to it for the placement of presents. I also liked your new sofa. I took a short nap on it and it was very comfortable.

Isaac, I am glad you enjoy going to preschool and I heard that your Christmas program was really special and fun and that you were really good at making the motions for your song. Elyse, it is neat that you have some special alone time with Mom when Isaac is at school.

It is really great that you both enjoy Longwood Gardens and playing in the water fountains. The indoor fountains are fun, but it will be good when it gets warm outside again and you can also play in the outside fountain. It will also be good when spring comes and you will have more chances to go to your Grandpa’s and play in the park. Isaac, you are really good at climbing on things and Elyse, I think that you are the loudest kid on the playground most times.

The milk and cookies that you left for me were great. I also believe that you have some great home brewed beer at your house. Next year a glass of that along with the milk and cookies would be great. Also tell your Aunt A and Uncle Jeremy that it would be good if they would put a glass of their beer out for me also. Isaac and Elyse, I would really like it if next year you would each draw or color a picture for me and leave it with the milk, cookies and beer.

I hope that you all have a good year in 2013 and I look forward to stopping by your house again next Christmas.

LOVE SANTA

We love you, Grandpa!

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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