Women Who Pin

Cognitively I understand that I have two X chromosomes myself.  Still, women make me nervous.  Especially women who pin.  I should clarify:  I pin.  I even occasionally take a stab at something I pin, but I’m not up every morning at the crack of dawn pressing wood pulp into homemade paper towels or recatalouging my CD collection by color hue for the heck of it…Curses on Pinterest for upping the anty.  I feel like at any given moment, a lady pal could whip out an obscenely fancy recipe or elaborate craft.  This makes me anxious, as without any warning, I might be pelted with a deluge of scrapbooking glue, homemade garlic knots, or spare wood pallets.  

Source This is phenomenal.  I feel like I’ve met women at parties who could whip this out in a single afternoon…this terrifies me….

Any gathering of women with a bring-your-own-appetizer has become terror-inducing.  Will someone else whip out a fancy multi-layer espresso brownie bite made with organic cocoa beans they picked from the tree in their own yard (irrigated obviously by an amazing cheap and easy DIY sprinkler system constructed from spare unused garden hoses) while my velveeta/salsa dip congeals in the dark corner of the food table?  Can I hide the fact that I bought my dress from Kohls or will someone ask me which pattern I used to creatively craft my dress from an over-sized man’s t-shirt?  I shamefully try to cover up my single-tone finger nails, as darn it–just didn’t get a chance to paint glitter balloons on there today between diaper changes…and should I have brought my own sander for the evenings’ rehab-your-old-TV-stand project?

So while all Those Ladies are basking in their glorious DIY-er glow tossing back diluted pomegrante spritzers, I may just be the one skulking in the corner, choking in lame embarrassment on my bean dip.  Anyone want to pull up a chair?

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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