As I’m still waiting for my bestie, Mindy Kaling, to call me up and invite me over for her next Girls’ Night Out, it occurred to me that it may indeed be time to grow up and acknowledge a few things in my life that will probably never happen. Or, she may just be busy working on her new show for the fall and will be ringing me up any day now…
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| Source She’s calling me any day now…no, really… |
Regardless, can probably safely stop holding my breath in hopeful anticipation of a few things…
1. Not looking good that I will finish my to-read list on Goodreads in this lifetime. Maybe I should just shoot for a .01% dent in the list?
2. May need to revise my dream of being a world-class Olympian (in any sport, I don’t really care) and start just trying to focus on getting myself to be a spectator at some Olympic event (of any sport, I don’t really care) before I die.
3. Sleep isn’t happening in abundance. Maybe someday in the distant future, but definitely not today. Card-carrying caffeine addict in the meantime.
4. The Next Food Network Star appears to have their queue lined up for the next several seasons, or at least weren’t wowed by my refined version of peanut butter toast.
5. I think at 8 yrs. of age, we can safely stash our dog in the “permanently and psychotically neurotic” class–not counting on him “calming down as he ages” at this point.
6. Similarly, at age 3 and as he is outgrowing naps (or the pretense thereof), it is not looking good that my son will “grow into” being a “good napper”. Darn all you people who dangled this carrot in front of me to get me through these brutal early years–it never happened.
7. Crap, my husband is a man. Pretty likely he will never be begging me to watch rom-coms with him as we paint our nails and giggle. Get some girlfriends, Mom of the Year 😉
8. I have yet to fall in love with cleaning toilets. I do not envision this happening soon.
9. Shockingly, my singing career has yet to take off. Perhaps the fact that I failed high school chorus is a contributing factor.
10. Also along the line of failed professional dreams–apparently, Jillian Micheals doesn’t need me to be a back-up exerciser for her DVD. Will let you know if this changes.
Reality-check delivered, but will obviously still hover over the phone waiting for Mindy 😉
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