Deconstructing the Mothership

The time had come.  My obscenely huge Kalencom weekender diaper bag had to go.  One of my very first posts of this blog, All Hail the Mothership, was dedicated to this beast of a bag.  She served me and my family so well, for so many months, but the time had come for her to retire.

The original Lady, in all Her glory

The fact that I was looking at physical therapy for my constantly out-of-joint/in pain left shoulder should have been my first tip off that a change was in order.  Then one day when I was digging madly for a diaper and couldn’t find it underneath the sea of snacks, water bottles, toy cars, bubbles (yes, bubbles), and Who Knows What Else, the irony hit me.  If I couldn’t find a diaper in my diaper bag, there may be a problem.  Also, my daughter is growing out of bottles and theoretically (if we can ever school this potty-training thing), my son will be kicking diapers to the curb.  He’s 3, she’s 1, and well…Mommy is tired of lugging the entire contents of the house with her on every single errand.

So one night after the kids were in bed, I boldly hefted The Mothership over my shoulder one last time and determinedly marched into the living room.  I heaved it upside down and dumped the entire contents on the floor.  And then I cried.  In that massive pile of stuff, I saw my entire evening evaporate through my eyes and was utterly clueless as to how to contain the mess into a smaller vessel (It should be noted that at this point, my husband suddenly had a mysterious Very Important Phone Call that required him to immediately leave to the porch, where he disappeared for over an hour–wise man.)

The new, streamlined version

But the thing is–this Mom of the Year doesn’t give up.  If the sweet (much smaller) Kate Spade diaper bag I scored off of eBay two years ago was the goal, I was going to meet it.  It was going to happen.  About 16 pocket-sized hand sanitizers, 103 packs of fruit snacks, and an even dozen of mostly-used packs of wipes later, my husband walked in the room and uttered the sweetest word in the world to me at that time, “How?!”  He was completely wowed and fascinating with my desconstucting prowess, as was I.

Oh yeah–having lost about 25 lbs. pounds in one evening, I’m stepping out.  Watch out, my friends.

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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