Guest Blogger: Lisa McKay

Lisa McKay is awesome.  Several months ago, my friend E referred me to her blog at www.lisamckaywriting.com and I have since been dedicatedly following.  I am continually awed and impressed with Lisa’s wit and wisdom.  She currently lives in Laos where her husband serves as a humanitarian worker.  She has an extensive career in psychology and is an amazing mom of a sweet little boy, Dominic.  And oh, did I forget to mention that SHE HAS NOW PUBLISHED TWO BOOKS?!  I thought her first novel, my hands came away red, was absolutely fantastic and can’t wait to get my hands on her new book, Love at the Speed of E-mail!  Tomorrow she will be discussing these books and her life more in depth, but today she agreed to do a good old-fashioned guest post…and I’m thrilled 🙂  She’s hysterical and this was so fun to read.  Thanks, Lisa!

Lisa and her son, Dominic

1. Leak milk at the sight of a puppy.
2. Wipe up baby spew with clothing that I am wearing.
3. Consider 6 a.m. on a Sunday almost a sleep-in.
4. Refer to my spouse as “daddy” more frequently than I call him by name.
5. Still have my child sleeping right beside my bed 5 months after his birth.
6. Still want my child to sleep right beside my bed 5 months after his birth.
7. Catch poo with my bare hands.
8. Find myself physically incapable of letting the baby cry for longer than 57 seconds without comforting him.
9. Find myself physically incapable of concentrating on conversations, tasks or oncoming traffic when the baby is crying.
10. Understand why the manufacturers felt it necessary to print the following warning label on pacifier packaging: “Warning: Do not tie pacifier around a child’s neck as it presents a strangulation danger”.
11. End up with a red-headed baby who is below the 40th percentile for weight and height (I mean, we’ll keep him because he is the most adorable baby ever, but I seriously think he may have been switched at birth).
12. See regurgitated milk land in my (brown) hair and think, “it’s only a little bit, I don’t need wash it out today.”
13. Find myself speaking in a high-pitched musical tone even when I’m not talking to the baby.
14. Ricochet emotionally from extreme highs to extreme lows within half an hour.
15. Change four diapers in 20 minutes.
16. Feel guilty for leaving the baby with someone else for an hour so I can do some work.
17. Function adequately (most of the time) on this little sleep.
18. Say everything twice (“What’s the doggie doing, Dominic? What’s the doggie doing?).
19. Allow the dog to lap up milk that the baby has spewed up.
20. Call the dog over to lap up milk that the baby has spewed up.
21. Allow the baby to lap up milk that the baby has just spewed up. (Off my shoulder, people, not the floor. Hey, I work hard to make that milk, if he wants to drink it twice, that’s fine by me).
22. Feel the urge to sneeze and think first of my pelvic floor.
23. Think of household items such as bed sleepers and rocking chairs with the same acquisitive lust heretofore reserved for ice cream makers.
24. Feel so immediately, incandescently and uncontrollably joyful when the baby laughs.

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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