Bring on the Hospital

Check out the bliss on her face… definitely a mom of multiple children.

What is a Mom of the Year to do when her toddler is totally driving her batty?  (read: YOUR TODDLER IS WINNING).  You’ll find loads of helpful suggestions online, most of them on Pinterest in the form of “100 Fun Summer Activities for Your Toddler” lists, but my awesome friend S had the best idea I’ve heard yet: if You. Just. Can’t. Handle. Your. Toddler. Anymore: give birth.  Sure, you’ll have the whole labor and delivery thing to deal with, but this is an almost guaranteed way to catch a break from your already-born fussy little guys.  In general, hospitalization for not-terribly-horrible reasons may not be such a bad thing.  My friend E recently reported some fantastic rest and catching up on her reading when she was hospitalized for a minor surgery, and my husband has copped up to thinking about how “it wouldn’t be so bad” to check in for something small.

So what are the benefits to be hospitalized?

1. Someone else makes your meals for you.

2. Someone else serves you your meals.

3. Someone else cleans up after said meals.

4. In general, less people screaming at you and demanding goldfish crackers and juice.

5. People ask me how I’m doing and seem to care (at least enough so that they can get their charts filled out before the next shift).

6. Higher likelihood of being able to take a shower without a bunch of hands banging on the door.

7.  Someone keeps track of my bowel movements.  Honestly, not sure that this is a benefit, but after dedicating large portions of my day to managing other beings’ poop (child and canine alike), there is a definite “wow factor” to have someone else care what is coming out of my butt.

8. You are encouraged to stay in bed.

9.  Let me repeat that: YOU ARE ENCOURAGED TO STAY IN BED.

10.  You have your own TV and will probably not be forced to watch The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse ad nauseum unless you really want to for some reason.

These are just the facts, people.  Give it some consideration and know that there may be at least a little silver lining to your next health situation??

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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