Things That I Have Actually Said

It occurred to me recently that it may be not-normal to say things to my husband such as, “I understand that you are not maliciously trying to ruin my life with sippy cups, but…”

This made me start thinking about bizarre things I say to the younger members of my family and thought another pop quiz might be in order.

See if you can identify to which family member I said the following:
(A-dog, B-2 yr. old son, and C-8 mo. old daughter)

1. “I absolutely cannot take this any more.  You need medication; I’m calling the psychiatrist”

2. “Please be reasonable”
(when answering this, please be mindful of the fact that my son is 2)

3. “Please try to participate”
(this was in reference to trying to dress said being)

4. “If you keep acting this way, no one is going to want to be your friend.”

5.  “I love you, but I’m not speaking to you any more.”

6. “You are supposed to be sleeping!  Take off your rainboots and get back into bed.”

7. “You absolutely have to wear pants”

8. “Can you please just talk to them on the phone so I don’t have to?”
(funnier when it is recognized that none of said answer choices are able to speak in complete sentences as of yet…)

9. “Yes, he does get grouchy when you chew his ear.”

10. (When washing hands) “Bye bye, markers!  Yes, they are ‘going home to play’ “.

Answers:
1-A, 2-B, 3-C, 4-A, 5-A, 6-B, 7-A,B&C, 8-B, 9-C (in reference to dog’s ear, not my son’s or husband’s), 10-none of the above.  I was talking to myself after having this exact delusional conversation with my toddler multiple times per day…

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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