Not The Time, Honey

 

You all know what I’m talking about: you have something you DESPERATELY need to discuss with your spouse, but when you try to bring it up, you are welcomed with a big fat “Not The Time”.  Which, honestly, is fantastic b/c of course, let’s just postpone the decision on whether or not your daughter’s rash needs to be brought to the attention of the pediatrician or how much cash you should get out to pay the sitter who is coming TONIGHT.  Awesome.  Thanks honey.  But this Mom of the Year is not to be deterred.  With a little carefully calculated manipulation, these dicey atmospheric conditions can be successfully navigated.

Step 1:  Plant seeds.  Example: you want to repaint the living room and you know your spouse is of the no-way-in-heck mindset.  Drop the suggestion, casually, at least 2+ weeks prior to desired repainting date.  Let him roll his eyes and act like you are crazy.  In fact, laugh along with him.  This is key to building his ego and allowing him to believe he is in control of the situation.

Step 2: Pat yourself on the back!  The hard work is done, really–you have introduced the topic.  Granted, you now have to put your finely honed navigation skills to the test.  Drop the topic again and brace yourself, as this time around will undoubtedly elicit a more impassioned reaction than the first–it can no longer be blown off as “just a silly idea”, b/c, by bringing it up twice, you have evidenced that you are semi-serious about it.  Stick to your guns, defend your idea and explain why it’s a good one.

Step 3:  This is when you break out the tears.  It truly doesn’t matter what source you claim for them–extreme exhaustion, feeling sick, lost keys, dead mother–all have worked for me.  This is your trump card–cry and cry as hard as you can–it will only get you closer to your goal, I promise.

Step 4:  Home Stretch!  Bring on the indignant anger.  This is the only way to seal the deal.  Carry on as if your spouse is outrageous b/c he won’t grant you the one simple request you desire, i.e. “I only want our living room to look fresh and new to give our family a nice space to be in!”.  By all logical rules of nature, he should cave and your living room will end up looking adorable.  If something goes catastrophically wrong and spouse still refuses, it may be best to count your losses and forfeit this one.  After all, you’re in this for the long-haul and any losses can be saved for future gain, right?

Good luck, it’s a very dicey world inside that house of marriage situation…

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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