A Panicky Lather

If you haven’t gathered this already, in general, I am a huge fan of stalking.  Stalking my husband on his way home from work, stalking the mail truck, stalking my own blog for hits–all incredibly lame and very useful, I have found.  When it’s flipped and I perceive that someone is stalking me, still not entirely bad–let’s be honest, if someone cares enough to keep close tabs on me, it’s just more than a little flattering.  Stalking can take a scary turn, however, if I feel somehow threatened by or unsure of who my stalker is.  Case in point: last week I got a very weird call from a very weird man from an unknown number inquiring about some magazine that I had never subscribed to.  When I confronted him, he got very quiet, but did not hang up and then asked me to confirm my address (at which point I obviously hung up).  Freaked, I know.  Forgot about it until later that night when I was trying to fall asleep.  It was at that point that I decided that someone was going to try to break in and hurt me or my children and I decided I needed to tell my husband immediately.  Unfortunately, he was already asleep.  After we “got all that sorted out” and he fell back asleep, we had another unfortunate event.  The dog decided to start hysterically barking at some unknown event outside.  Now most definitely having worked myself into a panicky lather, I again woke my husband up and “suggested” he go down to investigate.  Obviously thrilled to defend his family in the middle of the night, he valiantly ran down the stairs (read: grouchily trudged down half-awake in his boxer shorts).  Shockingly, it appeared to be more of a squirrel situation than scary-phone-man-breaking-into-our-house situation.  Also shockingly, my husband was less impressed with my supreme vigilance that night.  Regardless, I don’t have any indication that this Mom of the Year is going off duty any time soon.  My ability to work myself into hysterics in the middle of the night is a finely honed skill–apologies to my husband and fair warning to all stalkers 🙂

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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