Stalking the Husband

Okay ladies, let’s be honest, who doesn’t do this?  It’s about a 1/2 hr. before your husband is due home and you start casing out the driveway, maybe peering out the windows, every slight noise offering potential hope that perhaps it’s the garage door and your husband somehow has made it home early.  Help is on the way!  And the beautiful thing is–if the house is a disaster, the kids are screaming, and you yourself are still in some odd cross-combo of pajamas and day clothes, never having had time to fully make the transition earlier that day, he can’t come home and flee in terror.  He put a ring on it,* so he’s CAN’T LEAVE!  3 cheers for forced commitment!

This stalking behavior is also evident when something happens at home that absolutely requires his attention.  This ranges from my personal emotional crises to the pugnent smell of burned plastic that slapped me in the face when I opened my son’s door after naptime yesterday (how does a 2 yr. old produce this smell in his bedroom with absolutely no discernible cause?  Should I be concerned?  Probably.  Am I surprised?  After 2+ yrs. with this kid, not in the least…).  In any case, when the home front requires my husband’s attention, I not only expect him to be available to give it, I get ticked if I can’t get a hold of him.  I mean, seriously, what at work could possibly be more important than telling me where the heating pad is stored from last winter?!
Lest you think I’m the crazy lady who can’t figure out how to reset the demon-possessed toaster oven without calling her husband 3 times on his way to work, let me reassure you–I am. 🙂

*love Beyonce for making that a regular part of our modern-day vernacular–so eloquently stated!

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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