What Moms REALLY Want for Christmas: Week 3

Christmas is nearing, and these mom bloggers are keeping the dream of a magical holiday alive.  Anyone else getting giddy fantasizing about a Christmas sans the requisite scented bath and body lotion set?  I am believing that we can go bigger this year, ladies!  Hold onto the hope!  A stocking with something other than packs of gum can happen.

Cozy up around all the festive lights and let your imaginations run wild with us as we share what would really rock our worlds this holiday season.  Snap to, Santa!  You’re on duty here, and this important stuff!

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Christian, one of my all-time favorite bloggers (with his cohort, Pat at Point Counter-Point Point Point), is so cool that when I asked him to participate in this round-up of mommy requests, he didn’t even bat an eye over the fact that he’s a man.  He’s just so darn awesome, it seemed remiss not to include him, and he rolled with it beautifully.  Santa, give this man some well earned Christmas-wishes-come-true:

Dear Santa,

First off, I want to say I think you are doing a bang up job with this
whole present delivering set up of yours.  Really top notch. You should be
proud. Second, I hope you have noticed the nice bottle of Kentucky bourbon
that is accompanying this letter. It’s all yours. Really. Just consider it
a token of my appreciation for the outstanding “job” you are doing.
 
Now let’s get to business. For Christmas this year I would like a device
that could continuously respond back with a random answer anytime a
child’s voice asks “Why?”. The answers are not important, as I have
learned, as long as it can continually answer, every couple of seconds or
so, over long periods of time without going insane. I mean breaking. I’m
thinking something like the iPhone’s Siri but with some kind of military
grade resolve. Preferably it would be something you could attach to the
kid.
 
If for some reason you can’t deliver on this device please send the bottle
of bourbon back to the return address on this package. I’m going to need
it more than you.
 
Thank you and Merry Christmas.

 Christian of Point Counter-Point Point Point

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Source
An extra one or two would be great

Toulouse and Tonic would just like an extra limb, please:

Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas, I can’t think of anything I want more than a third arm. Since I’m always holding a baby with one arm and trying to get my 5-year-old juice with the other, I really need a third arm in order to either eat something myself or more importantly, work on my blog. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe a third and fourth arm would be more helpful. I don’t need any extra bulk under my shirt, what with the mom belly and the ungainly boobs, so if you could just tuck them under my current arms and maybe make them extendable, that would be just peachy. Happy holidays and ho ho ho.

Toulouse from Toulouse and Tonic

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I think JD Bailey is setting extremely reasonable expectations:

Dear Santa,

For Christmas this year, I would like a magical machine that can clean and put away both laundry and dishes while simultaneously cleaning the house and giving me a relaxing massage that instantly melts away 10 pounds.

Too much?

FIne. I’ll take a new pair of slippers.

Love,
JD Bailey of Honest Mom

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Source
Just get the things to stay up–it doesn’t matter how

For goodness’ sake, Santa, isn’t it enough work for Kari to be pregnant without having to fight with her pants all the time?:

Dear Santa,

Thanks, Santa, you’re the best!

Kari of Once Upon Our House

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Source
Steph is getting cozy and looking AWESOME

Steph has the most perfect day (and the perfect pj’s) imaginable in mind:

Dear Santa,

Love,
Steph from Binkies and Briefcases

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Christine took the time to rhyme for you!  Give her whatever she wants now:

it’s the first time I’ve written in years.
I don’t need an iPad, the Kindle HD,
or a brand new appliance from Sears.
I don’t want a new wardrobe,
or new pair of shoes,
or shiny new earrings to wear.
A DSLR in a new camera bag–it’s not on my list, I swear.
 
I don’t want a new  laptop, or acoustic guitar,
or a new silver pen, or a best selling book,
My wish this year is as simple as this:
That my children will eat what I cook!
 
If you could silence their “Yucks!” and their “Blahs!” and their “Ews!”
all of my dreams would come true.
If they no longer said that they hated my food–
I’d owe a great debt to you.
 
If their “Blecks!” were replaced with hearty “Yums!”
and they begged me for seconds and ate all the crumbs,
I would jump for joy and feel so blessed–
This, Old Elf, would be the absolute best!
 
I know you can make it happen–but if it’s not meant to be–
could you throw me a bone, or give me a break,
and send someone to cook for ME?
 
Pretty please?
XOXO,

Christine from More than Mommies

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Source
At some point the mouse has gotta stop dancing, right?

Motherhood on the Rocks is a tired mommy who just wants that darn “Hot Dog Song” out of her and a few other simple things:

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a really good girl this year. I dutifully take care care of diva, kiss my husband goodbye every morning without gagging (at least not in front of him), try not to complain too much about stinky the dog, and always resist the temptation to crack open a beer at 10 a.m.  I think I should definitely be on your nice list. In light of that, I’d really like one day without Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (or at least the ability to keep the “hot dog song” from getting stuck in my head), an instantaneous potty training program and to wake up without feeling like I’ve been hit by a big rig. So there you have it, Santa, a few simple requests from one very good and very tired mommy. I’d be ever so grateful if you could get your elves to work on these. And Santa, if you can’t fulfill my Christmas wish list, then I’m gonna need a lot of tequila.

Motherhood on the Rocks

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Roshni is so kind; she’s taking time to check with how you’re doing before she makes a request for a single extra hour:

So, coming to the point, I’m here to ask you a teeny tiny favor….yes, I know you think you’ve heard that one before but give me a minute to explain! All I want is one measly extra hour for each day! There! That’s not too hard, right!?! Why are you looking at me like that? I tell you, compared to all the Nintendo DS’s and the personal ponies and puppy dogs and private islands, this one is peanuts! I mean, you travel all around the world in a single night on your reindeer sled; while you’re at it, can’t you do some minor axis tilting stuff to the earth to have us gain that extra hour?

Source
A beyond reasonable reason to need an extra hour in the day

And, I’ll tell you why I need it! Look, I work outside home, right? So, I get up at 5.30 a.m. every week day, I make and pack lunches, I get myself ready, get the kids ready, we all leave, I drop the kids to school, I drive some 20 miles to my workplace, work all day, drive back the 20 miles, pick up the kids, bring them home, get them in the tub, start dinner, get them out of the tub, help them with their homework, give them dinner, listen to their complaints about said dinner, either cave in or hold strong about bribing them with dessert if they finish the ‘vile’ dinner, read them story books, tell them ten times to go to bed, finally get them off to bed, and then fall asleep on the couch while watching TV! Of course, the husband helps, but you know…..Okay, so here’s the deal about the extra hour…..somewhere in between, if I can have one hour to myself where I do nothing but something for me, for just a little philosophical soul-searching, how wonderful would that be!! Do I see tears in your eyes? No? Okay, fine! I need that extra hour so I can see Downton Abbey and Castle on Hulu, okay?!!! I haven’t been able to keep up so I need to know what happened with Lady Mary and Matthew and Bates and the rest!! And, have you seen the last sizzling episode of the last season of Castle….hey! Where are you off to? What? I need to keep this conversation G-rated? Uh…are you going to help me out or not…..Santaaaaaa!!!!!!

Roshni of Big A Little a

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Alright folks, we’ll let Santa have a little rest before we come back for one final weeks of making our wishlist pleas.  Don’t forget to add a Christmas wish of your own below if you’ve got something the Big Guy’s gotta hear.  Happy counting down to Christmas!

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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