When Your Husband Says No

My husband and I have differing definitions of good ideas.  I like to consider myself more “open to new experiences which could positively benefit my life” whereas he typically just classifies me as crazy.  Examples:

1. Those cleansing foot pad things.  You know, the ones that suck all the toxins out of your body through your feet while you sleep?  I go to bed and then just wake up sans loads of internal dirt?  Heck yeah, sign me up!  Cleanses in general sound awesome to me.  Who doesn’t want  their gastrointestinal system to be super-shiny clean?  Or to shed all stress from their lives by simply taking a supplemental pill?  My husband is less on board with the whole cleanse concept…

2. Pictures. Lots of them.  I admittedly have a picture problem, and am an absolute sucker for cute pics of my kids.  Ideally I would sort of paper my walls with photos.  I see an ad for a place that would gorgeously frame the pictures for me, such as posterframedepot.com, and drool a little.  Surely, leaving some empty wall space isn’t really necessary?

3.  Gel manicures.  Despite my initial skepticism, I then sort of went and fell in love with them.  Only catch?  They are more than a tad pricey.  How can my husband not get the importance of having glorious nails?  Seriously, while the rest of my poopy diaper-changing unwashed-hair days hang over me like weighty threat, let me at least have this one small corner of orderly perfection!

4. Hotpants.  All I have to do is wear pants and then I lose weight?  Ummm…I usually wear pants anyway, and definitely have a few pounds to kick?  I’m in.

Source
Put them on and then look like this? Um, yeah!

5. Hot yoga.  Anticipating your gasps of shock now–I have never done yoga.  I’d like to.  I’d especially like to do hot yoga b/c it sounds wildly renewing and refreshing.  I think if I told my husband I wanted to spend the money on hiring a sitter to watch my kids and paying for a class, he would first plotz, then crank up the space heater in our bedroom and queue up a yoga DVD for me.  Might work okay?

6. In the vein of exercise, I really want to ace out something amazingly cool like a Tough Mudder.  My husband is a good man.  He would support this.  He would also be the very first to know and understand the potential incongruence between this goal and how very much I despise exercise.  I’m still keeping this on the bucket list.

7.  Three years of Self magazine for only $11.97 from that amazing online deal?  I love Self!  Dang you, Hubby, why must you point out that bedside pile of magazines threatening to topple over and bury our toddlers if they get too close?  I might gain a fitness tip if I actually ever get around to reading it, so really, it would be a total score…

Source
A free gym bag? I SO need this…

8.  Signing up to help with _________.   Oh yeah, I don’t have time for that.  My kids need me.  My husband needs me.  My abysmal laundry pile needs me.  Priorities aren’t a bad thing.

9. Big Love Season 5 on DVD (bought used from Amazon of course).  Sure, we need to feed the kids.  And okay, fine, I have no time to watch 1/10 of the current on-air shows I’d love to see.  But…I’m completely fascinated by polygamy (not in the “I want to get on board” kind of way) and I love this show.   Have managed to somehow scrimp together viewings of the first four seasons without an HBO subscription, but I’ve somehow lost my free-TV viewing powers after having 2 kids and I really want to see the last season of this treasure.

10. The Groupon for _______.  The allure of any online Groupon, whether I truly need ______ or not, is powerful.  I see it as saving a bunch of money.  My husband sees it as spending a bunch of money I would never have otherwise spent.  He’s right, I’m wrong.  Soak up this statement and savor it, my love.

In general, you’re welcome, dear husband.  I’ve just publicly delivered my Christmas list.  So while I’m spending all of my free brain space trying to think of creative ideas for you, you can just link through to the foot pads, order up and call it a day.  Love you too.

 **Compensation from link to posterframedepot.comwas received**

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Meredith

Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, where she dedicatedly earns her title one epic parenting fail at a time, offering quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents and all their empathizers. She has been part of several best-selling anthologies, featured on prominent sites such as Huffington Post, In the Powder Room and BlogHer, and loves her role as the Executive VP/Operations Manager of The BlogU Conference. When she's not breaking up fights over Legos and juice boxes, she remains fully committed to sharing a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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